THINGS THAT I HATE ABOUT HALLOWEEN

Disclaimer:  I used to like Halloween when I was a kid.  That understood, let us continue.

1.    I hate to dress up (and I don't), so I don't go to any stupid Halloween parties.  I've seen pictures, and I've seen people at those parties.  They are either pretending that they don't think that they look ridiculous, or they are drunk. 

2.   I hate trick or treating (see disclaimer).  Going from door to door begging for candy creeps me out.  Now, if we were going door to door begging for money, well that's a different story.  Can we make a day for that?

3.  I hate Goosey Night (well, so does everyone else unless you're a teenager and you want to destroy something). 

4.  Don't even get me started on how much a stupid costume costs.  I wish I was blessed with the talent of making a homemade costume, but I am not.   Every year, my kids would be dressed up as hobos (just like I was). 

5.   Did I already mention that I hated trick or treating? (see disclaimer).

6.   I hate Halloween parades.  Watching the little kiddies walk around in 40 degree weather (some of them dressed like ghouls or midnight nurses).  Pu-leeze! And what's up with the miniskirts for 5 year olds. anyway?  Does your 5 year old have to look sexy?  Really?

7.   I hate when people hand out crappy candy.  If you're not into it, don't bother to hand any out.  We are not out there freezing our butts off begging for candy to get  3 candy corns each.  FYI, This is coming from a mother who carefully scans what is in her kids bag  (and eats any Baby Ruth she can find).  I vote for more Baby Ruths!

8.   I hate when teenagers trick or treat.  If you are 6 foot 7, it's time to buy your own freaking candy!  And don't knock on my door at 9:30!  (But here, have some candy so you don't egg my house or cover my trees with toilet paper next year on Goosey Night.  Have a few more Baby Ruths).